


Grima's Journal

by TheSilentChloey



Series: Shadow Journals [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Grima loves Lucina but doesn't know it yet, Grima x Lucina, Muder, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, background ship for shadow tactician, grima being possessive, lucina being possessive, shipfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-08 05:11:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 9,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15236073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSilentChloey/pseuds/TheSilentChloey
Summary: Snippets of Grima's thoughts and feelings on his Lucina.  Set in the Shadow Tactician universe





	1. First Entry

#  I

 

A simple concept like this is...certainly not something I would have thought of even if I was in my current state waiting for the rise of my own power once again as my puppet and I had travelled to another past to ensure my continued strength not that it's even needed but I was beginning to get bored with what was left of the world I had ruined and thus we arrived here for me to have some more fun for a while.  We were not alone. Accompanied by that which was once my mother until I both raped and murdered it for it daring to refuse my right to rule the world during the initial period of my awakening. It put up a fairly decent fight until I got my hands on it and tore it from the inside out shattering its mind so that the only thing it can do is come to my beck and call should I ever feel like that is what I want to do.  I made damn certain to silence it since I _ never _ wanted to hear  _ that _ damn voice ever again unless it was to scream in pain.  Which could very well be the case again since that was what I was hoping to have happen.

  
  


It ambles around needlessly as I have yet to tell it to  _ do  _ anything.  I suppose I could send it out to get sustenance after all I did keep it able to fight and its eyes do glow with a faint hint of my unholy blessings, a sign that is easy to miss given how close I was to its death and the fact that I did not need it to be that powerful other than the force with which I had to deal with before.  It would be able to handle most threats and for those it couldn’t...I’d just use my magic on them myself. Not many could stand against that but for those that could I’d most certainly be happy to rip them apart in their end.

  
  


I suppose this book will have to occupy me for now.  Ah the faint scratch of a quill and smell of ink quite takes me back through some of my host’s more dull memories.  The mundane beckons to me just by the smell alone, thoughts of tactics and battle strategies come easily to me, it’s almost funny how much it feels like home in a way.  I used to not write my thoughts but since I don't have anything better to do...I might as well. Funny that I’m doing that now. I wonder if that means I’m losing my touch?  Or maybe I feel like reflecting just a bit? Ah well, if it helps me keep my time somewhat occupied then I will do so, though I doubt that it will mean all that much.

  
  


The heart has yet to be born and he won't be strong enough just yet, so I will have to wait a while.  I do not want to be in a body that cannot move on its own. That is far too risky and not to mention it would immediately put a damn target on me with no real protection or ability to defend myself proper.

  
  


No I will simply have to wait until the child's mind is ready.  In the meantime I'll see if using dreams will achieve what I want without spoiling a perfectly good vessel...which means that I will need some materials in order to do just that...at least to start with.  If I can get enough of a link with the Heart I’ll be able to grow him without having to risk him getting ruined in any way.

I happened across a few other versions of myself and they  _ all  _ went too quickly about reclaiming their vessels.  **Damn fools** ! Do they not realise what a waste of both effort and energy that is when the Heart isn’t strong enough to hold them?!

  
  


No, I can afford to hold off from going near the Heart for now.  This body will suffice for my present purposes and plans. It is strong enough to deal with pests should they actually come up.  Besides it does have some rather...interesting perks.

  
  


I still do not understand why I feel compelled to write in this book right now.  As good a distraction it might be I have other more compelling distractions. She's sprawled on the bed looking rather tempting in the gown I had them make for her, it does a wonderful job of making it that much easier on me to take her should I want to.  Hmm...I suppose I will have to at some point I must admit. The idea is certainly most appealing right about now. I could last maybe a day or two I suppose if I absolutely have to but why would I? I prefered her like this. Within reach and free to do whatever it is I might want to do.  I keep getting an odd feeling that I haven’t actually had a chance to figure out much of just yet.

  
  


My puppet...my dear, sweet puppet.  She was the first human I saw when I finally awakened inside this body.  At first I thought I might use her as sustenance but the body responded differently than I anticipated, first thing it did was react in arousal and I had never really felt what humans called, “lust” up until that moment.  The rush of emotions I felt as my host proceeded to fade away was...intoxicating. So much so that I found myself in quite the interesting position at the time, practically tearing the clothes she had on at that time off if memory serves me correctly.  Even more intriguing was her inability to fight back. Or lack of willpower to fight back whichever it was at that time. She let me experience as much as I wanted...and still does even now. I'll admit I've never actually had to do all that much to keep her under my command.  Apparently all it took was me awakening after murdering Chrom to make her bend to my will. Or it could very well have been when I melded with her, bodies joining in the most...sensual way I must admit. She became my own personal drug in a way on that day that I still to  **_this_ ** day can’t figure out why I can’t really leave her for prolonged periods of time.  Of course I have used my magic to heal her over the years since I couldn’t and can’t exactly leave her damaged for too long.  Though admittedly I mark her as clearly as I can so that none but me will touch her. Though I doubt that anyone would want to save for me at this point.  Well given that she does resemble a certain Ylissean Prince it does give a rather interesting twist. To think then that her family’s greatest long time enemy is sinking into her most intimate of places... nothing surpasses the euphoric feeling I get from it.   _ Nothing _ except maybe destroying things but that is still second to ravishing her.

  
  


Still seeing her like this, spreading so temptingly like she is...perhaps I should take her now and allow myself to fill her with my seed again.  It is a very human thing to do but even I need my outlets that aren’t destruction and murder. She is well used to  _ my  _ foreplay and can be quite  _ coy _ at times which seems to only serve the purpose of driving me absolutely wild with “lust” if nothing else.  Though I can hear the fools coming so that might have to wait for a while. Still as long as they provide decent entertainment I might not have much else to do...although...ah yes perhaps I could paint her with the lovely red of blood again...or get back to working out how to remove that  _ thing's  _ mark.  It has no right to mark  _ my _ things.  The removal will take some time and perhaps might just be enough to keep me occupied.  Yes...that might just be what I’ll do…

  
  


_ After  _ I get some decent sustenance.  Curse this body's constant needs.  Still beggars can't be choosers. The only sure thing is that the plan is going well.  Foolish Naga might think it knows what I am planing but after destroying it last time as well as its wretched daughter and taking on their life forces to increase my own I think I'll be very much able to deal with them.  Hells I might even have some fun with them by slowly choking their precious world until there’s nothing left again. Though if I could get the Heart...that would make things even more fun at least until he’s ready. Or I gradually build him up for my grand plan that not even Naga will know is coming...and I  _ know _ I have to do something about Chrom.

  
  


Ah Chrom, the one person that I actually see as a problem to all of this.  As I think of him I think about him with a fondness that is not my own. It is the host’s I’m sure of it.  Still I think I might have fun killing him a second time and it would be more of my free will than before so perhaps that is why I am so disquieted by the thought where as I have been killing humans without second thought for long enough now…

Though dare I admit it I am actually not sure that I want to kill Chrom.  Oh sure I’ll let Validar think he’s got me under his control but I think I might have to kill this version of Chrom...if not to spare the Heart from having to do that…

What the hells is going on with me?  Of course I’ll kill Chrom! I have to!  Killing him is necessary for my plan! I suppose I can make his end a swift one then.  A quick blot of Thoron to his chest through his token armour. It will end him before he even knows what’s hit him.  It is a fitting end for him I suppose. I will have to go tomeless so he truly won’t see it coming until the end. The pain he’ll feel will be minimal at best...

  
  


The risen arrived in a timely manner at least.  Too bad my favourite kill toy  _ didn't  _ show up. Oh well at least Validar has  _ some _ intelligence to stay away when his life depends on doing so.  But no more than his other self I must admit, though the first one I killed wasn’t really all that fun to kill.

 

That Validar barely lasted a few minutes and bled even worse. Perhaps he wanted me to kill him. Still I would take the wonderful pleasure of killing him again.  Killing him is a staple for me I must admit and speaking with other versions most had opted to kill him as well. A Grima I think must have some consistencies right?  Especially when it comes to who we end up killing (almost everyone and everything). Though I wonder why I’m getting that kind of idea now? No matter. I’ll kill who I want and how I want.  Ending Validar must be as bloody and painful a death for him as possible. Nothing else will do for such a fool should he piss me off like the first one I killed did. I suppose that is the bargain that I will make with myself...if Validar infuriates me again I’ll have an excuse to kill him.  The perfect plan dare I say so myself.

 

Of course that damn fool looks to be every bit annoying as his other self.  He was asking all sorts of useless questions earlier that really I  ~~ didn’t ~~ shouldn’t even have to answer since he  _ should _ have known all of the fucking answers!  I honestly do not understand how a human that is supposed to be so smart  ~~ is such an idiot in so many more ways besides ~~ is beyond reasoning in other areas to the point of being a massive irritation to say the least.  I can't wait to tear him open slowly as his blood drains along the ground and have him twitching on my feasting table; alive as I progressively tear each limb from his body or even slowly cutting him open so that his body bleeds while his death is as slow as possible perhaps breaking EVERY SINGLE BONE in his body all while making him gag on his own blood...it's...appealing to say the least.  And the death I have for the foolish deserter is even more satisfying than that. Ah just thinking about it is driving me wild! Mmm...yes...just the thing to soothe my boredom for now. I really should enjoy myself for now since I have nothing better to do. After all it will be a few years yet before the fruits of my planning begins to take shape. Hopefully the fool will give enough entertainment for the time being. If not then I can always kill him, bring him back and kill him again and somehow that is not actually that bad to think about…


	2. Second Entry

#  II

Three months...that is how long it took that damn fool to get me the materials I requested and even then they weren’t in the best condition as I needed them to be.  I honestly don’t know why I didn’t think to send my risen to get them. Perhaps it was too soon to assume that he was aware of what I wanted to do. Still...if I have to go through more useless humans wasting my time...I suppose that I should have accounted for that their lack of intelligence.  It  _ is  _ annoying that I even have to deal with such fucking idiots as these!  Still if it helps I might have to change plans and work on a more...clear cut set of failsafe instructions for next time.  That is if I don’t end up killing them all first.

Even so...the fact that they need  _ me _ to tell them what to do all of the time is equally annoying.  Humans are supposed to be intelligent! I swear that some beasts have more wisdom than the humans that call themselves “Grimleal”.  I could almost do without them entirely to get what I wanted done properly and I’d have much less losses on my part.

Though if I had the option to get my hands on their throats...it would be soothing at least for the most part I would assume. Besides it has been somewhat entertaining.  Killing those that I got to kill before in the world that I came from, with this world being almost more years in the past than my own was.

I feel I should paint my puppet at some point. She’d look rather fetching in some blood.  Also I should be sure to increase the risen around us at some point to form a proper guard, though that won’t be needed as yet since I haven’t really been challenged to make such a guard and the Grimleal are competent enough when they fight.  I may have the risen guards as back up however should that be needed. I really can not afford to allow her to be harmed and she can’t really defend herself which is going to be a problem or perhaps not. She is after all protected by a god. Few would dare to anger a god now would they?  If they dare they would be killed first before they could do any true harm to her. For that reason alone keeping her close is in my best interests. It is all I can do after all. My thought is that while she may be at risk; she’s safest with me than  _ anyone _ else.  I can protect her and I will.

  
  


Of course as I write this I am naturally in the middle of setting to work on that damned mark in her eye...although I might just leave it.  I  _ could _ just mark her myself.  An amusing thought. Ah well I will have to change my plans again it seems.  I will have to work out sooner rather than later what I must do.

 

When my Heart will be able to learn magic I must have the ‘lessons’ ready as soon as possible.  I could start earlier but the humans have sufficient methods to teach magic and I can devise none better.  No the lessons I must teach him will be the most advanced magic possible for him to learn. I will have to put it into his subconscious.  It will be the only way. Plus he’ll be used to spell backlash should I teach him in the way I’m planning. His dreams will have to do. Ah and I will need to make sure that I have enough working for that to happen.  I believe he will be able to cope with it in that way. If it works then I’ll know how much to link with him. Given his aging however...that might be the only problem. I could just repeat the lessons over several dreams.  Much like how humans repeat things perhaps that will help him. Odd to think that I would be using human-like methods to achieve a dragon’s will. Still if it works then the payoff will be perfect. He’ll gain the knowledge that I need him to and I won’t have to do as much when we merge.  A foolproof plan it seems. I think I’ll start with the basics of tomeless magic. Then move onto strategy and battle tactics. From there will be how risen are made, and of course I simply must teach him how to fight as well. I have a feeling that will help him in the time to come. If both he and the alternate version of my Puppet are able to fight then my plan stands a chance.  I will also have to finish off said lessons with a bit of history. He may glean something from my memories after all. Who knows maybe he’ll travel the outrealms looking for answers. That is a possibility after all.


	3. Third Entry

#  III

Refreshing...that is what I would describe how I feel.  A steady ease in the last six months. Of course this thing is quite interesting to update, if for the sporadic nature of what I’m doing with this book.  Sometimes I just don’t have the time to myself. The Grimleal have been providing decent entertainment so I can’t really complain about it too much. Ah the screams are always welcome.  Though the fact that there isn’t destruction to go with it...it’s a bit lacking really. Validar told me that they have planned to take out the Exalt. I of course told him to do what he wanted since it was the same in my world where Emmeryn was most certainly murdered and I didn’t have the delicious front row seats of that.  “Bring the chaos to Ylisse.” I’d said, “Make them fight with us to thin their numbers.” I’d added.

  
  


Ah if only he listened to me...although my suggestion to have them abduct the Duke of Themis’ daughter was heeded.  Apparently Gangrel liked that one so much that he did it to the letter of how I’d suggested it entirely. I wonder if he’ll like how I would end him given the chance and choice...mmm...certainly entertaining indeed.  Ripping off his limbs and letting him bleed slowly to death? Or perhaps having his intestines slowly ripped out while he was squirming under my hands clasping his throat? Or even the slow descent into madness as he would come to fear that something was out to kill him? Or even...ah so many possibilities and not even one of them alone would be satisfying.  Still I’d take what I could get and for the moment with Aversa watching his moves I felt it safe to say that our goals were aligned for now. No point in killing off a worthy pawn until it needed to be removed from the board and all. Still I had to consider what my plan truly was with the idea of the Exalt’s death. I could see Ylisse sinking into despair over it (which would make my job of destruction all the easier to do) or I could use it as part of a ritual.  Telling them to kill her was more...fun I guess. However I will have to wait and see what happens. It should be fun to find out.

  
  


Validar decided that he would spend his time annoying me again (gods if it wasn’t for her I’d have crushed his skull in my hands by now).  The fool however did have something useful at least. He says that apparently an Ylissean wants to help us. Of course I repeated what I’d said the first time and Validar replied with, “Of course Lord Grima, it will be as you have commanded.” and then stupidly asked what I wanted done with the man giving us the information.  I told him to have one of the generals kill him. He was of no used to me and I had a feeling that would suit my plans anyway. After all what was better than making a traitor die at the hands of those he thought he could trust? Delicious though the thought was it didn’t really matter to me what they did with the Ylissean. Kill him, spare him.  Bring him to me even to do with as I wished. There was plenty to do in that regard.

  
  


Now where was I?  Oh of course working out what I wanted to do next.  Naturally I found out this morning that Validar had succeeded in killing the Exalt.  I kept the praise minimal at best. He also informed me that Chrom, the man I’d killed once before was weakened as per my suggestion.  I get the sense that the fool did actually listen for once. At least that is something. Now though...I feel the infuriating need to rest.  Perhaps I should retire for a time. After all I didn’t have all that much to do. Hells I might just turn up to the Dragon’s Table Temple for the hells of it.  I’ve been meaning to for the past few months anyway and it would be so much fun to meet the fools that would die when I absorbed more power.


	4. Fourth Entry

#  IV

I got mixed results from the experiment I was playing with.  The idea is simple enough but the execution will prove difficult.  Storing another’s power within me might not be easy. If I could I’d have to make certain that I got myself ready to bare my power.  I know what I need is some more time. Perhaps I should send Validar or one of the Grimleal to collect the materials I need...but that went so well last time that I may have to rethink that especially since humans as a whole are almost useless entirely.  I should send the risen out instead since I know it’s at my complete control and will do exactly what I want as I want it done. Maybe add a few more while I’m at it so that it won’t get pestered by stupid humans. That actually now sounds like a better option. As long as they destroy a few villages in Ylisse on the way I don’t care what they do.  The risk sending them though...I could send them in smaller bands but again that would defeat the purpose of what I want. Still sending them might just be my best bet...if not then I could always make more...though…

I’d rather not waste my energy on it to be honest.  I will send the Grimleal. They screw up and I can turn them into new risen and still get the materials I want.  Could be worth it either way.


	5. Fifth Entry

#  V

The fools failed  **_again_ ** !  I swear if it wasn’t for the fact that I wasn’t in a rush I’d have torn through them all.  Thankfully Validar did a  _ wonderful _ job chewing them out about not engaging the Ylisseans before I’d ordered them to.  It was actually cute. Still thank gods she was resting herself on my lap else I’d have done worse than have Validar chew them out.  Amusing how her obedience calms me enough not to fly into a rage like I wanted. Perhaps it is the smell that she’s emitting?

  
  


Still there is the problem of human foolishness.  I had asked for very specific materials and they had for the second time failed to bring them to me.  I must not let this foolishness stand or else it will keep happening and wasting more time than I care to want being wasted. I will have to ask Validar to send them in. Perhaps a more direct dealing with them will make them do what I want _how_ I want it.  They need to learn to obey me without their stupidity being annoying if the useless humans _could_ do that!

  
  


She’s moved again.  I swear there are times where she’s acting like a harlot on purpose!  Tempting me with her obedience to my every whim...yes I do rather like it very much.


	6. Sixth Entry

#  VI

Three years...three years of useless waiting and  _ finally _ I got my wish.  Gangrel doesn’t even know the hell he’d bought on himself.  He put up a rather glorious fight too. Ah my blood still sings at the thought.  Validar is now ruling Plegia as he should. Makes my life easier to ask for what I want and now I have more useless humans to serve me...and turn into risen when the time comes to take their life forces and what not because I have a world to destroy and like hells I’m going to waste that opportunity to have my fun.

  
  
Still it could have been worse.  I have not been able to reach the Heart for a few days now.  Annoying as I think that the deserter has something to do with that.  I will have to try again tonight. I am concerned at what the deserter is doing to  _ my _ Heart as it will slow down the speed at which I can teach him what he needs to know.  I will have to make it pay when the time is right.


	7. Seventh Entry

#  VII

Ah sweet success.  I was able to establish the necessary connection.  It’s not perfect yet but given how young the heart is...I will have time to deepen it.  Not even Naga can interfere with my plan. I have a sense that it will be a matter of time before the link begins to yield results and as such I need more materials.  I have to wait for their arrival and hopefully for the time being I can trust the fools to follow their orders this time. It means that I will most certainly be able to make the lessons ready for him to learn and I am looking forward to teaching him.

  
  


So while I am waiting I suppose I should let my thoughts wander since I haven’t really done so in a long time and this book is so inviting right now.  It is interesting that I have come as far as I have really. I must say that even if I didn’t want to think about things I would have to eventually.

  
  


Hmm...I wonder...if there was ever any reason to think of that passing fleeting moment just now...a dark place filled with risen all at my beck and call...is that not what I wanted to do in the first place?  Though look at how well that went for my other selves all being killed due to their ineptitude. No I will not do as they have done. I will bide my time and even if my heart does try to refuse me like the others, he will never really be able to.  He is bound to me by both his blood and my soul. We are one and the same after all. His heart is mine. Indeed if that is the case...then I must begin the process as best I can. It must be slow...it must be enough for me to make certain that he’s ready...ready for us to merge entirely.

  
  


No other Grima has ever done that.  I should know it’s a magic that is beyond them.  I only found it when I dared to seek out the man that made us all.  Forneus...and studied the ruins of what was...though few Grimas dare to travel the outrealms I did meet them.  They all acted mostly the same. All obsessed with their hearts and reclaiming their power at the utmost soonest possible time.  They were chasing the alternate versions of my puppet. A shame that when they could have made her such a loyal servant. I spoke to a couple of them...not that they had much worth saying.  Still it was more curiosity than anything else that made me reach out to them. The female was interesting enough. She was fairly obsessed with Chrom, almost like she wanted to have him. She was...as desperate as the others to reclaim her vessel’s power which made me think that they didn’t know how to make use of a human body to store their magic like I’d made myself learn over the course of destroying the world I came from.  I had of course found it much more...useful to keep a human form and thus never really made use of my Dragon form. If I had it would have wasted my strength. Though I did summon it from time to time when I wanted to make a quick job of killing those that stood against me.

  
  


I almost wonder why then that I am like this.  Of all the Grimas am I the only one who has the abilities I do?  I don’t know. Perhaps it’s because I have completely different intentions than the others do.  Still I should rest for the night. My puppet is being too tempting and I haven’t gone  _ this  _ long without her pressed to my side.  However there is still so much work to be done!  I can almost feel her slipping that dress of hers off...wait a minute she actually is...heh, looks like she’s made my mind up for me...I do love it when she plays all coy like this.  It’s...nice-


	8. Eighth Entry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can not kill the fruit; I cannot imagine myself killing it. Forneus...he tried to kill me...so why was it that I couldn't kill the fruit? These thoughts scare me much more than I think they should...

#  VIII

Validar has pissed me off for the  _ last _ time.  The Thoron bolt was beautiful and I got to savour the second time of killing him.  Reclaiming my other form was easily enough done. I almost didn’t notice it as my human form absorbed more strength.  I could feel it. My heart knew what I’d done in his place. Good. Still I wasn’t expecting what happened next. My puppet practically collapsed on floor of my table spilling blood and fluid that instantly concerned me greatly as she showed no sign of doing it ever before.  I wasn’t sure what was going on at first but I did notice that she’d been going through some physical changes over the past few months, “pregnancy” I think the humans call it, though it was a mystery to me as to how it worked and what it did. Even so there is nothing I can do but wait. A couple of the surviving Grimleal have assured me that they will care for her but I still can not help but be agitated. Just what do they mean by labour?  Are they seriously going to deny me my puppet? I should-

  
  


One of them had come out to inform me that my puppet has produced a fruit.  I cannot be sure how I reacted to that entirely, whether it was rage or relief.  I practically tore past them to see what they meant and saw her holding a bundle in her arms before the remaining Grimleal moved out of my way.  I almost wanted to destroy it but something...something stopped me. Perhaps it was the way she was holding it, or the fact that she was making noiseless cooing at it I don’t know.  The smell maybe? I mean I  _ do _ have a strong sense of smell and some of my more dragon-like attributes have been surfacing of late…

She looked at me then as if to say, “Come see what we’ve made!” And I did.

  
  
A tiny  _ human _ is wrapped inside it, flailing about whimpering and making all kinds of noises that I wasn’t sure I liked but found to be entrancing in the same token.  She seemed pleased and I found the newly born human...odd. I wasn’t and still am not sure how I feel about it entirely just yet. Though it does carry my mark...I can reach its mind as well so that is promising...I now have a backup should the heart be killed. Wonderful.  I will keep it hidden and close for now. I killed the Grimleal who tended to my Puppet of course. I didn’t want this to get out one bit...I did not want  _ anyone _ knowing that I, the Fell Dragon Grima had sired a child.  That I had  _ created life _ and not destroyed it.  What in the hells is going on with me…?  In the past I would have killed without hesitation.  Gods. Am I beginning to be more...human? I don’t know.  All I know is that this is all starting to terrify me in ways that Forneus never did.  He may have created me but now...had I not done as he had? I can not kill the fruit; I cannot imagine myself killing it.  Forneus...he tried to kill me...so why was it that I couldn't kill the fruit? These thoughts scare me much more than I think they should...


	9. Ninth Entry

#  IX

The heart is binding to the girl, which is good news and a relief to me, though I cannot explain why that is the case.  He’s too submissive for my liking but I can make it work, perhaps giving him some spine to be dominant for once. I’ve taught him all I can about battle tactics and strategy so it will be up to him for now to guide the girl until I merge with him and perhaps have my puppet do the same with the girl.  Still instead of attacking me like I’d expected the girl made them go to Naga. I do believe she plans to go back in time using its ritual. So I must follow them it seems. I’ll have to make the needed plans to follow them. The fruit is too small to be of much use yet and my Puppet has yet to be made ready for travel.  We’re going after the girl and the heart. Into a third world...how amusing. I never thought I’d get to absorb a second Grima’s power. All the better to strengthen myself and the heart when we finally merge and become one. Who knows I might even have enough power to make the girl into a worthy Queen to be at our side using my Puppet to merge with her as well as some of our strongest magic which will awaken the dragon blood with them both.  I will have to plan very carefully for that. Materials will need to be gathered and rituals will need to be undertaken. An exciting prospect and the Fruit will be of use as well. Though I may just have to work out what I’m going to do with it once I get to the ‘past’. Honestly Naga is such a fool, playing right into my hands and all. It is only a matter of time before such events are set in motion. I will have to see what this new world's Validar is like.  Hopefully not as stupid as the last two. Though I do not hold high hopes…


	10. Tenth Entry

#  X

She's gone!  I almost can't believe the rotten luck!  Both of them! The fruit and my Puppet. I must remain calm.  I have the risen at least. I will have to send it out to find them.  I'm going to have to send out as many risen as possible to find them. Not now but soon.  I have met this world's Validar. He has yet to sire the Heart of this world. I will help him for now.  I've told them they need a manakete. I must make sure that the ritual they do is a more direct one than my other heart.  He's not here yet but Naga's inaccuracy will work to my advantage. My best guess is that I am a few months out from where I intended to be.  No matter I will need to exercise my patience for now. I have spoken all that I need to. I have decided that I will scour the world myself with my risen as a guard for now.  It will have to do. My own power will suffice to keep me from harm but my priority is finding  **_her_ ** and soon.  She could very well have gotten injured at this point and I do not want to think about how dangerous that is.  I must make my move. Else all I have done will be for nothing. I can almost feel Naga is to blame for this. If that is the case then I will reserve a fate far worse than undeath.  I will make it pay for interfering with my plans. There is a realm wherein I could make its power fade entirely. Once I merge with the heart we'll go there and prevent it from blindsiding us ever again.


	11. Eleventh Entry

#  XI

The sorceress has taken matters into her own hands somewhat, about time however as Validar wasn't going to push the point.  I have decided to take a more direct approach to make certain this world's version of my heart has a decent link. Already countless Grimleal are present chanting and hitting the drums.  It's an almost...unusual atmosphere. They have a manakete like I'd suggested and the thing is screaming fighting against the chains. They will silence it soon. Too bad. I wanted to hear it scream some more.  I watched as this version of my “mother" was tied to the altar. She'd been hexed to stillness but her grunts of displeasure were clear. I had best do something about that.

  
I made her serene.  The hex working perfectly thanks to the perfect conditions.  She looks peaceful. Her grunts will now how the desired effect.  To egg him on to release his seed inside of her. I don't know why but I felt like saying the words I had taught the humans when I was able to whisper in the mind of the sorcerer who gave me his blood to ensure the destruction of the world, whom I gave my blood in return.  She's disquieted about what I'm saying I know. The extra words were more a sadistic touch on my part. I wanted her to know that she'd not escape her fate. I would be born of her womb. There was nothing she could do about it. And should she dare fight that fact...well she would have the same fate as  **_it_ ** did.  Hmm the thought is a practical one to say the least.  Once the ritual was complete she was moved to a room where she will be bound.  On the morrow she’ll be bred with again and again for the next two weeks, each day while they wait for the next two weeks to see if her monthly blood flows.  If it does she'll be forced onto a diet to make her as fertile as possible and bred with again. They will continue this for three months and if she fails then she will be killed.  Validar will have to contend with three women and if they do not succeed he will be killed as well. Though I know those two will not have to be. They are fertile and the Heart has been conceived.  All that needs to be done is the ritual. Just to keep the rest of the Grimleal happy. The two women they have chosen alongside Robin. They will fail to bare fruit. Their bloodlines are due to be trimmed out.  Soon enough I will take great pleasure in killing them myself. The sorceress knows who I am and soon the rest of them will as well. It will only be a matter of time. In the meantime I must work on locating my Puppet.  Sooner the better. I must find her. I can not and will not allow her to leave my side ever again.


	12. Twelfth Entry

#  XII

Finally I found her.  She was injured quite badly, I almost would have lost her if not for the speed I'd worked with my magic to heal her wounds and gods was it infuriating to see her like that.  The fruit wasn't with her solidifying my theory that said fruit was with my heart. It had better be with my heart or  **_else_ ** .  My pacing was interrupted by the sound of Validar and the other one entering the room which they had provided for me.  They bought in a girl. She was weak but certainly not too bad on the eye. Though I was certain she had no place on the battlefield she'd make a good addition to what I had already.  Of course she didn't last five minutes of my foreplay which was annoying. Really only my Puppet was good enough to last the length of time I needed for foreplay. And can she last it.  It's a relief to know what she was nice and wet for me. I quite enjoyed her after almost months of not having her at my side. Gods it was a release and a half. I already am feeling like I want to take her again.  I will rest for now. Then I'll take her again. I know that much.


	13. Thirteenth Entry

#  XIII

I have had the most interesting day.  I am aware that I will have some plans to follow up on.  It will be important. Suffice to say however that I will have to rip  **_something_ ** apart.  Entertainment doesn’t always come with anything fun.  Blood makes for a good time...if the blood meal stays alive long enough to be fun.  She was at my side while I indulged in a bit of fun. As far as I am concerned all is well for now.  Beautifully so. I could ask for no better right now.

 

Even so I can see some problems arising from our current bit of fun.  I could also do without the interruptions while I’m enjoying myself. Mostly it seems from Validar but there are a couple of the others...and I have wind of some trouble from one of the...less useful worms.  One that I care not for as it is into other worms like it. I will send it to Valm if it is half decent I might just let it live for a while longer and not push the Heart to take its life. Ah well it all matters little to me.  It all matters quite a deal less to me than they want to think. I also have some plans to enact as this will be the second time that I have had to store power. I will have to keep an eye on my heart. He still has much to learn yet.  And I’m not even halfway through the lessons that I must teach him. Still if he learns as well as I know he will my work will be worth the effort. Indeed I need just a bit more blood for that…


	14. Fourteenth Entry

#  XIV

The nerve!  Here I was enjoying a peaceful, human free morning with  **_my_ ** Lucina and it was rudely interrupted by humans that informed me that my heart wasn’t able to be retrieved.  I want to rip them all apart! I  **_told_ ** them I wanted them to test the strength of my Heart, not bring him to me!  Ah well. I suppose I can just send risen to do the job but he’s still having a negative reaction to them.  I need that reaction to cease for the risen to have the desired effect. I want him to know of their presence but not be crippled by them at the slightest moment that they appeared near him!  Still I must admit the Grimleal are fools at the best of times so I don’t have much choice. I may have to see him directly. It will be difficult however since I have not had to go near him in any capacity and it could do more harm than good of he’s reacting to the risen in such a manner.  Even so I am sure that if I  **_did_ ** meet him in Valm that might be too much too soon.  Besides I have little doubt that the girl will attack on sight which could bring more complications than I need.  No I will wait a little longer. When they return to Ylisse. Perhaps I will try a direct dream link, that might be better. Time will tell I suppose if things will go my way.  Only now have I realised what I have wrote but it does have the most pleasant ring to it... **_my Lucina_ ** ...I suppose in a way that is true.  She is mine. I feel like I’m being too sentimental and yet...I don’t even know where it is coming from also it’s not as disturbing as I think it should be...just what...is going on with me?  I’m supposed to be the bringer of despair and ruin! And yet...and yet...the thoughts are not leaving me alone like they should. Could it be...that those thoughts are not the remnants of my host...but...my own?  Surely not! There is no way I would yield to such foolish human emotions! And yet...I get the feeling that is exactly what is going on and for some reason I feel powerless to stop it. I feel a sense of...hope. No this can not be right.  Is it? I do not understand what it is that I am feeling. It  **_must_ ** be what is left of my host.  It has to be! There is no way I could even...no I am not human thus their emotions are not mine to have.  I know this to be certain and yet...I can’t help but feel like I have...that I am…

That I am beginning to understand what it is to feel something other than “anger”, “lust” and “hate”.


	15. Fifteenth Entry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I asked him who he was naturally and he said “Something like a fan of your work.” And I must admit there are few humans who would say that to me. _Very_ few indeed. The sorcerer was the first. So full of hatred for his fellow man that I had decided to see how far it would go.

#  XV

I felt it.  Sweet gods did I feel it.  It was almost overwhelmingly like the point before I came so sharply, though this time it wasn’t because of what I was doing with my Lucina but the fact that my Heart is close, agonisingly close to being ready to merge almost like that point where I could be right before him to merge.  He however is not quite ready yet I can tell. He collapsed from the effort and he pushed too hard, though the fact  **_his_ ** Lucina had been injured I felt justified the reaction he should not have been so reckless like that!  Had he the mindfulness I could have been able to guide him a bit better than what I was able to. Perhaps a fault on my part as I should have prepared him better.  Even so I had not accounted for him to reach out ot me on his own. I had expected it to be much longer than that.

 

Though it felt good to lend him the power he needed to rip that fool who harmed her.  It was cathartic and I actually felt...odd as if it were almost...natural for us to be like this.  Protecting her with all our powers, bring her to her knees with pleasure and...wait what the hells am I thinking?!  I...I honestly don't know what I am thinking. He’s close though now and with the link I established back then I am now more aware of his presence than before.  I’ve been teaching him  _ Ignus _ proper since he seems to be ready to learn it.  Dragonskin will come next, then Rightful God. Those are the skills he will need.  He might resist learning the last two. I may have to wait longer for those ones I think.  When he is ready to merge they will be taught to him when the time is right and he’s ready to learn them.  Validar is due to send in some entertainment but something isn’t quite...right, I know it. I know that kind of darkness.  It seems that my Lucina and I have a guest. Definitely not a Grimleal I can smell it. How odd. It seems that he’s shown himself in and to the point of not raising the alarm either how interesting…

I suppose I will have to see what he wants since he’s one of the few who are not Grimleal that dare to come near me.  Not since I slaughtered my creator at any rate.

 

What a strange human he is.  The confidence he has is...interesting.  Not many humans are that self-assured. It seems that he’s certainly not squeamish he either hasn’t seen the blood on the couch that he’s currently sitting on or doesn't care.  It could be the latter. My Lucina doesn’t like him. It’s amusing to see her act like it still I can handle her mood. Hells perhaps I need her like that. An arm around her waist should be enough to remind her not to get too misbehaved.  Besides I don’t mind her sitting like she is head on my left shoulder arms snaked around me gripping my coat. I had little choice but to open my lower two sets of eyes. It gave me a more accurate read on the boy. He was a dark one that much was certain.  I asked him who he was naturally and he said “Something like a fan of your work.” And I must admit there are few humans who would say that to me.  **_Very_ ** few indeed.  The sorcerer was the first.  So full of hatred for his fellow man that I had decided to see how far it would go.  Forneus was the first one I had ended myself once he betrayed me. That sorcerer was strikingly like this boy.  Not a descendant to be sure.

“My work eh?” I’d said, “If you’re referring to her-” I indicated to my Lucina, “she’s not worth the admiration boy.” I’d grinned, “However if you really want to see  **_my_ ** work, then you might find this to be more to your liking.” I snapped my fingers and like normal it ambled out calm and responsive as ever.  It’s eyes glowing a faint brown colour due to how it was when I made it, hence why few could see my unholy blessings. It was carrying the same tome it once had in life, Arcthunder. Plus it was also carrying the steel sword it had tried to stab me with once it realised I was awakened.  I had yet to decide what it was going to do but then again. My guest had spoken,

“So what about  **_That_ ** then?”

I had to wonder why he was so focused on my Lucina but I noticed that he was looking at it.  Absently I ran a hand through her hair and said rather calmly to him, “This is a masterpiece.  It’s different to any other I have created. Mind you it was quite alive when I got my hands on it and with the grip the body had on its soul...made my job easier than normal.  I didn’t bother to preserve much of its mind outside of following my commands, not worth doing for it since it’s worth more to me in its current state. Besides it’s more of a...decoration than actually useful at present. I have...a few of them floating around that are like that.  They’ll be made useful when I feel like bothering to and when I will have the need to.” The boy didn’t seem disturbed and said,

“Braindead slaves are all well and good but-” He pulled out a card of some sort out and threw it towards me.  I looked at it and frowned. On the card was a man holding a strange looking sword, clearly in armour I did not recognise my eyes gravitated to his exposed shoulder,

“Is this...who I think it might be?” I’d mused out loud and then I frowned, “Chrom...I haven’t seen him  **_ever_ ** look like this before.  Is this really him?” I’d asked and the boy laughed,

“In the cold dead flesh.” He’d replied.  He had a familiar darkness of soul that much I knew.  Amusingly enough I had to wonder what he was suggesting.

“And this came into your possession how?” I’d asked and he waved off my question.  I was starting to lean towards my “hybrid” form as I allowed more fell magic to rise to give me a more clear view of this boy.  The bottom most pair of my eyes finally opened fully and I right now had taken on my more...unnerving form. The one that most humans couldn’t really stand as it was the most...unnatural form for me to take and was a step below me going fully hybrid complete with wings.  A step above that was my dragon form. I did not want to go too far. Otherwise I would drain my body of strength.

 

The “guest” seemed not to be disturbed by what he was seeing.  Hmm...I suppose he might just be worth humouring. He spoke, “Have you ever thought of having a more willing servant that is stronger than it is currently to do your bidding?”

“Oh?” I had little else to respond with initially but there was something unusual about this boy.  Dark he may be but I doubt my initial read. Still I had reason to believe that he was being serious.  “And pray, tell me how you’re intending this conversation to go? I assume you want to leave here alive for one.  Else you would have come with more than the Einherjar unit if you were looking for death.” The card pulsed with magic and I recognised it well.  I’d dealt with the ‘ghost’ units before, though few had been held in a card such as the one I’d been given. Then I realised what it was that was going on.  This Chrom had more mana pumped into him than those Phantoms. He was actually flesh to be sure bound to the card to be summoned at leisure. Still it made me feel...disquieted seeing him like that.  I could not think of why that might be but knowing Chrom...it would take a lot more magic to  **_break_ ** his mind than it did my Lucina’s.  Though to be fair most of my work was already done for me when it came to her.

He laughed again.  The kind of laugh I had to admit made my Lucina tighten her grip on my coat as she tipped her head to look at me.  She did not like this boy at all. It was amusing, “I came,” The boy said, “To offer my services. Considering you don’t seem too keen on doing such a thing yourself I would assume that someone else doing would be favourable to you?”

I ended up having all of my eyes looking right at the boy, “Is that so,” I’d said, “I suppose you’ll expect some form of payment for said services rendered?”

“Heh, I’m glad to know that you’re smart enough to know that there’s no such thing as a free lunch.  I appreciate payment for my work. Though it’s not something I can do before others...”

It was my turn to laugh.  And laugh I did, I’ll admit it was amusing.  I couldn’t help but think of him as the most strangest human I had  **_ever_ ** met.  I knew she wasn’t amused but I could see where the conversation was going.  I suppose the boy had a point. I couldn’t be bothered and it wasn’t because the rights were overly complex.  No they were child’s play to me. If I really wanted to I could have turned it into a powerful servant indeed, a will of its own bound to mine and yet.  I didn’t really care for it. Changing my Lucina was out of the question. She was alive yes, but that was the point. I  **_needed_ ** her to be alive.  That is what made her the perfect Consort...and I’m getting sentimental again.  I really must figure out if it’s really how I  **_feel_ ** or if it’s the remnants of my host.

  
In the end the boy left after telling me who it was that prevented the Grimleal I’d sent after my Heart to “bring him to me”.  A man called Arilon. That man had done a favour to me. How I hate to be in debt to a worm. It mattered little though because I plan to look into the Heart’s memories.  He left the Einherjar in my hands. I suppose I  **_could_ ** make an investigation into the magic of this particular card.  It is brimming with magic after all. I should probably retire for the night.  My Lucina has not settled since that boy had left. She’s been acting...needy. I’ve never had her act like this before.  Still I can be sure that I will think on the boy’s offer.  **_After_ ** I deal with my Lucina’s neediness.  I will need to settle her down before it gets dangerous.  With the boy gone I felt safe enough to stroke her, “Now, now,” I’d said, “You know I can’t tell anyone just how precious you are to me.” She pressed herself to me and I chuckled lightly, “I am the Fell Dragon after all.” Though I am beginning to wonder if that is a forgone conclusion, “Though between us…” I’d let the words hang.  Gods what the hell has gotten into me?! This degree of sentiment just isn’t...me…? Or...is it? Is it even possible for me to…?


	16. Final Entry

#  XVI

It’s almost time.  The Heart is ready.  It will be time to complete the ritual that I have been working on to give him two Grimas’ worth of power.  He is ready. He fought off Validar beautifully with everything I’d taught him. At long last. I am ready as I'll ever be.  My memories and this book...they will be in his hands now. I can only hope he does not blame me for trying to keep things out of the Grimleal’s hands.  I do not want them knowing about where I truly came from. That knowledge is for my heart and him alone. My Lucina knows and his Lucina will know as well.  The hour is nigh. Yes. We’re all ready for the ritual. Those waiting at the table will be freed from Validar’s machinations. They won’t be needed. They will survive unlike the others before them…slaughtered for my own benefit how tragic it is.  I know for a fact he won't need to do that ever again.


End file.
